DESSERT Recipes from The DENTIST'S COOKBOOK
< > CARMELIZED, CHOCOLATE-COVERED, GUMMI-SWEETS DENTAL TREATS:
Dental Recall Visit: "Nurse, please Chart our Findings on Mrs. Zucker. Tooth #20 is coated with Caramel. Tooth #12 is now Cavity-Prone, not Cavity-Protected, with a Gummi Bear on top. Chocolate-Covered Tooth #5. Tooth #17 has a Pericornitis Gum Infection from her Movie Theatre Popcorn. Mrs. Zucker, I have to give you the Bittersweet News. I will not Sugar-Coat my Clinical Findings. You're a Candyholic." "That's so insightful of you, Doctor. Is it my Ugly Teeth that was the giveaway?" "It was your Weight. We also know you're not Bulimic."
Patient's Ingredient List: Bittersweet Chocolate. Cocoa Butter Nibs. Caramel Squares. Extra-Large Egg Yolks. Pure Salted Butter. Heavy Whipping Cream. Gummi Bears. Tahitian Vanilla Bean - split horizontally. Pure Maple Syrup. Raw Honey. Full Bag of Refined Sugar.
Doctor's Ingredient List: Cacao. Soy Caramel. Egg Whites. Low-Fat Margarine. Dream Whip Cream. Boba Non-Fat Tapioca Balls. Sugar-free Jelly Beans. Saccharine / Splenda / …
Preparation: Nurse goes into the Sterilization Room / Cooking Lab, & follows her Doctor's Orders in Mixing, & Baking in the Dry Clave / Dry Heat Sterilizer. Doctor found out that Baking in the Autoclave was only good for Steamed Dishes, and the Chemi-Clave / Chemical Heat-Pressure Sterilizer, left a Nasty Aftertaste & After-Smell that lingered for an entire Week.
Follow-Up - 1 Week Later: "So, Mrs. Zucker, my lovely Staff baked both versions of our Recipes. The ultimate Taste Test is now." Everyone takes a Plastic Spork & Plate, & tastes both Recipes. "We did a Post-Mortem, & analyzed the Bio-Hazardous Wastebasket contents. The vote was unanimous. Mrs. Zucker's Treat was nowhere to be found, but we did recover over 95% of our Dental Treats. With a Confidence Level of 95%, we can firmly conclude that those Dental Treats suck. No, the Patients don't even suck on them either. Please disregard the above Dental Sweets Recipe; we are.
Prophy / Teeth Cleaning: Nurse, "Let's use the Peanut Butter Flavored Prophy Paste for this Patient, & all future Patients, please!"
< > The CHOCOLATE MEDICINAL:
Dental Office Staff love to give their Patients Toys, Gifts, or Sweets, as a Reward for Good Behavior. We have learned to reward them After the Dental Visit, because we know the Science of Chocolate. Rewards encourage the release of Endorphins in the Brain, thus making us Feel Happy. Be it Bittersweet, White, or Regular, Chocolate has a universal appeal.
The Melting Point of Chocolate and Cacao Butter is slightly Lower than our own Body Temperatures of 98.6°. So it literally first "Melts in your Hands, not in your Mouth". And, what Smart Nurse would want to Clean Up a Chocolate Faced & Cacao Buttered Fingered Patient in the Operatory.
< > LICORICE:
King Tut's Dentist approved of Licorice so much, that when Lord Carnarvon's Archeologist, Howard Carter, opened the Tomb's burial chamber on February 17, 1923, there were large amounts of Licorice found within. One theory says that 3 weeks later, Lord Carnarvon was bitten by a mosquito on his cheek and became ill. The media jumped to the conclusion that King Tut's tomb was cursed.
Nurse: "Was it Red or Black Licorice?"
Doctor: "It was very Dusty, & Hard as Rock Candy! In the Tut Exhibit, did you see all those Broken Teeth King Tut had?"
We at www.DentalTales.com believe that it was just like all those Halloween Trick-or-Treaters who ate too much Candy & Licorice that night!
From Your West Los Angeles Dentist